DEFYING AFFECTION

Halloween horrors at night safari.

2010-10-22T03:41:00.010+08:00

A journey to remember.

2010-08-29T19:10:00.015+08:00

He is someone which made me hold onto every word he said. He is someone who gave me a feeling I never wanted to end. He is someone I can't live without no matter how hard i try. He is someone who could look past my flaws. He is someone who gave me the best out of everything. He is someone who gave me a sense of security. He is someone who could express his feelings out in a different manner. He is someone who sees an imperfect person perfectly. He is someone who does last minute plans that ended up being one of my best memories. He is someone who made my life a great bundle of little things. He is someone who tries to brighten up my day with every possible way. He is someone who made me learned alot this year... I learned that things don't always turn out the way i've planned, or the way i think they should. And i've learned that there are things that go wrong that don't always get fixed or get put back together the way they once were before. I've learned that i can get through bad times when life gets in the way and keep looking out for better ones, as long as there are people who loves me. I'm sorry if at times i'm stubborn, impatient, moody, a crybaby, childish, negative, possessive, pointless, too controlling, jealous, pain in the ass but despite all that, i hope you know how much i love you.

Cheryl's birthday.

2010-08-01T16:00:00.011+08:00

Dedicated to Cheryl lian jia hui:
Sis, we've had quarrels in the past and now we've patched things up. Yet through it all, the coldness will eventually thaw and melt away and we're right back to where we've left it, that is, like nothing has ever been missing... We laughed at jokes that no one could hardly understand. We are able to read and understand what each other is thinking in their mind. We defended each other when others won't. We did some of the silliest things one can ever do and there's so many stories to be recalled when we are together. To the outside world we all grow old, but not to us. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We remember all the feuds and secrets, griefs and joys this friendship had given to us. We all take different paths in life but distance had never come between us so far. Thanks for all the support you have given to me throughout the past 32 months. Thanks for standing up for me all these while and thanks for all the beautiful memories shared. I do hope for all the best in everything you do and once again, happy 15th birthday! I'm so glad you had a memorable one! ;)

52/12

2010-07-16T18:25:00.007+08:00

It's amazing that the things you realize when you lose someone, you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could have said a million times, you take for granted the days spent doing nothing when you could have been with them. Anyone can be taken at any time in our lives, but we always wait until they're gone to say the things we never had the courage to before. Guess what i'm trying to say is that you are there, in everything that i am, in everything that i've ever done, and looking back, i know that i should have told you how much you've always meant to me. There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore... and who always will.

Life is like quotes.

2010-06-25T01:31:00.010+08:00

There is an inner beauty about a woman who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything that she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a woman who follows her own path, who isn't thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is a beauty about a woman whose confidence comes from experiences; who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and move on.

Happy birthday precious!
I wish you all the best in everything you do and hope this year's celebration was indeed a memorable one for you!

2010-06-21T14:17:00.004+08:00

SMOOVE presents: SOUND SERIES 3 @ POWERHOUSE on 24th JUNE! "Over the LIMIT, Blow my speakers up!" A fusion of local GIG and local nightlife scene, SOUND SERIES 3 @ St James POWERHOUSE! Doors will open at 7.30pm to 4am, tickets will be at $24. Contact Wilbert for more enquiries/tickets @ 81236195.

Agony of parting fading along with time.

2010-06-13T14:11:00.000+08:00

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best out of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.

Life's greatest paradox.

2010-06-04T04:16:00.009+08:00

Pictures taken on 31/5/10.
Top One > Singapore flyer.

A heart left to hold.

2010-05-15T16:36:00.004+08:00

Why do people even try to hold on to love until the end of time, even when there is nothing left to hold. Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people, but you never forget them. And sometimes, it's those memories that give us the strength to go on. Time makes more converts than reason. It is a companion that goes with us on a journey. Reminding us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. When you lose someone, you don't lose them all at once. You lose them in pieces over time. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. It's always the same in every relationship, there is always one person crying and wishing the other half would knew how much he/she cared, while the other doesn't even learn how to appreciate. I hate that I have to be the one who remembers every little detail while you can't seem to remember me at all.

Analogy between the heart and mind.

2010-05-15T15:39:00.016+08:00

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

The best things said come last.

2010-05-09T19:37:00.002+08:00

Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.
Sorrow has always been a part of our existence. Even the best among us cannot escape feeling sad at times. It is when you are feeling sad that you develop new insight about yourself. Then on the other hand, i find it weird how one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking this way, but maybe, just maybe, sadness is almost never anything but a form of fatigue to me.

Linking hearts.

2010-05-01T21:17:00.011+08:00

There are many paths you take in life. Some you choose them yourself but some are chosen for you. Scars are like memories. When you fall, when your heart breaks, and when your best friend turns her back on you, it leaves a scar that can hurt everytime you think about it. It’s a memory that is stuck in your head. It's in the past, but it comes back sometimes. It's a memory that hurt, but doesn’t disappear. It never does. When you see it so vividly, you sometimes regret what led to the scar that is a memory that leaves an imprint in your life's history.

Nostalgic memories.

2010-04-04T20:04:00.022+08:00

Feelings are not supposed to be logical. I love my past. I love my present. I'm not ashamed of what i've had, and i'm not sad because i have it no longer. I think that everything happens to me for a reason. The hard times that i went through build up my character, making me a much stronger person. I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken, and i'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the shattered pieces.

I've finally turned 15 last friday. Thanks for those that had wished me happy birthday and such, i love you guys alot! Oh, and a very special thank you to those young ladies of mine, Cheryl, Rachel, Eileen, Elaine, Peksi, Lynn and Stellah for being really sweet on that day. You know what you girls have done for me, i appreciated it very much! Before i end my post here, i wanna give a small gentle reminder that i've just removed shoutmix away. Because lastly as you all can see, i seldom reply tags in my blog, perhaps only once in every 2 to 3 weeks. Therefore, i've decided to replace shoutmix with guestbook as it make things seem to be a little easier and neater for me.

Affairs of the heart.

2010-03-29T02:52:00.000+08:00

If you were to recall the most important moments in your life, you might realize that most of these moments were shared with someone else.
Months passed and i'm long over him but he still left an imprint in my memories. It didn't matter to me now that he didn't know or that he didn't feel the same way. What matters is that we once entered each other's life to become a part of it before and that's enough for me. The important thing is to not be bitter over life's disappointments. You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, even months analyzing a situation, trying to put the pieces together. Justifying what could have, should have, would have happened. Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on. Sometimes you forgive people simply because you still want them in your life, even if they were the most beautiful but yet the most terrible thing that have ever happened to you in the past. The past may be gone forever and whatever the future holds, our todays make the memories of tomorrow. Even though your world may appear to have collapsed around you, strangely enough, you also notice that most things still remain the same. For the moment, it may even feel like that you're never going to emerge from your sadness. Actually, it's just a matter of time. You'll get up once again when you've decided on the right path.

Apathy of love.

2010-03-15T04:35:00.022+08:00

I just thought that a slight update would keep my blog going.

As all of you have noticed that i haven't been posting much about my daily activities in life compared to last time, one of the main reasons is because my school days have been pretty mundane and thus i wouldn't elaborate much on it.
How boring can life really get right? As i'm typing out this post, suddenly, just suddenly... I miss everything related to the past. Seems like it's really time for me to put the past behind and get love outta my head. Cause all that is left has gone away and somehow there's nothing left for us to hold on to anymore. Sometimes i'll ask myself if i am healing fast enough or what? Since i should be almost halfway through the process of erasing every bit of what we once were in my heart and mind by now.

Doubts are like thorns of the roses.

2010-02-27T18:40:00.008+08:00

It made me took some time to realise that there is nothing much left but just an empty space and an awkward silence inside me. At least it hasn't made me felt bitter or cynical about love. I know i should have deserve a better and much more happier life, but somehow i'm just a little too not over you. Yet it still seems so hard for me to understand such illusions could sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are then dashed into pieces.

Feelings apart, lost with no direction.

2010-02-18T23:34:00.010+08:00

While alot has been writing about the jubilation of falling in love,
Much less has written about the downside of love -------- Heartbreak.

I hate it when emotions start taking control of me and when i'm always being so indecisive about things. I didn't realise that there's no other remedy to numb away the pain. A little too much, perhaps i've fallen too deep. I wanted to be the best you never had, but somehow things just crashed in between. At times it may seem to be the worst feelings somehow. But you're not to blame, everything just happened unexpectedly, it all ended with reasons behind it. Neither did things turn out the way like how we wanted it to be afterall.
Shall stop here, don't wish to write on anymore. Badly need a break from everything. I need time.
I just want everybody around me to be happy. I guess i'm fine for now.

Back in action.

2010-02-14T05:33:00.003+08:00

Wishing all a happy chinese new year and valentine's day as well.
Another lesson learned, another experience gained. Time for me to change, not gonna be naive anymore like how i was last time. Should have knew that promises can be broken just as easily as how they were made, I know you never meant to do everything you put me through, it's okay. Thanks to all those who've shown me great concern and helping me to get over every single little bit of what's going on now. Appreciated those that offered tissues to me, sweet much! Promised Crystal, Rachel and Jasper that i'll stop doing stupid things, i won't pg anymore. I'd start anew. I don't wanna think about the past, so don't question me anything related to it.

Conclusion: Don’t dwell on the past, never look back at it to regret anything.
Till then.